I am starting a diet. Again. #95,672.
Life is one long losing weight song it seems. I recently found some old diet journals from waaay back when. My goodness I have been struggling with this same issue for so long. You know what’s Really Cute though? I love the ones in my 20’s when I am complaining about weighing 124 pounds and deriding myself as FAT. That is so cute. That poor girl! So mean to myself when I was probably in great shape. I don’t even consider 130 now as possible. If I got to 130 people would think I was sick, seriously. I know we have fluctuating body composition over our lives but really?
Anyway. I have got to start something going here. I am starting ALL OVER on a diet and I have to lose at least ten pounds…. and I want to lose fifteen. At my age, this isn’t going to be as easy as it has been in the past. I am at least 30 pounds above that.
I’ve also been unemployed, and at home near my refrigerator for two and a half years now. My problem is DISCIPLINE. Why is that a problem? I really struggle with having it. That’s why! Where can I find some, where is it hiding?? Did it ever exist?
Yes, it did. I’ve had a few times in my life where I got in super shape and lost a significant amount of weight. And how did I do that….? THE DISCIPLINE. So I had it, I should be able to find it again. She hopes.
Back to that poor young lady, in her 20’s who was being bullied by herself for weighing *gasp* 124 pounds. Yes, that’s me in the photo. In continuing to read that journal, I did get down to 118. 118 pounds!! I must’ve looked great! I do remember being in great shape and feeling wonderful. I did yoga every day and did sit ups and was running pretty much every day – not a long distance but I was doing it. Was also doing some swimming (renting on a lake) and trying to eat right. But guess what? That young lady was happy to have reached 118 pounds — but not satisfied. She needed to be 115. And she wasn’t going to be a success until she was 115. Well, I don’t think she made that, and she didn’t stay at 118 either. I just want to tell her now – you were a success! You were.
Quite honestly, I think I drank a lot less than I do now. I mean, well give me a break. It is 2020 now and there is a Pandemic…. I’m not alone in my medicinal needs. It’s been a heck of a summer, as I’m sure all would agree. With COVID-19 and all of the restrictions, I can only imagine how hard it must be on so many people. For me, sure, I missed going out to restaurants, concerts and bars. Pretty much that’s what we do for entertainment. We’ve done some take out, and we’ve gone to a few (literally, a tiny few) restaurants and eaten outside, which was great, but.. of course it still isn’t the same. But we’re getting by. I wouldn’t want to be young and going through it. I remember being in college and the swine flu was supposed to be a big problem… my roommates and I got the swine flu shot and promptly forgot about it. Forever. Of course the H1N1 swine flu wasn’t the 2019 novel coronavirus SARS-CoV-2. Things were “under control”. Not so now. And fear can make you feel hopeless and depressed — and feeling hopeless and depressed sends you to that big silver cold box in the kitchen. Full of all that good food.
I try and think positive (as difficult as that can be some days) but I am psyched and I feel I’m ready to try again. Not only do I want to survive this pandemic (literally terrified of it at our age), but I want to be super-healthy and look good. My son is (hopefully) getting married next May now (was supposed to be married June 20,2020 but that didn’t happen due to pandemic) and I don’t want to be freaking out in March or April and having to lose 15 pounds. I’d LIKE to already be there. And I want to be around for seeing my grandchildren.
All valid reasons of course. But is the mind strong enough to rule the body? Laziness, cravings, boredom? We shall see. Let’s do this.