I am starting a diet. Again. #95,672.
Life is one long losing weight song it seems. I recently found some old diet journals from waaay back when. My goodness I have been struggling with this same issue for so long. You know what’s Really Cute though? I love the ones in my 20’s when I am complaining about weighing 124 pounds and deriding myself as FAT. That is so cute. That poor girl! So mean to myself when I was probably in great shape. I don’t even consider 130 now as possible. If I got to 130 people would think I was sick, seriously. I know we have fluctuating body composition over our lives but really?
Anyway. I have got to start something going here. I am starting ALL OVER on a diet and I have to lose at least ten pounds…. and I want to lose fifteen. At my age, this isn’t going to be as easy as it has been in the past. I am at least 30 pounds above that.
I’ve also been unemployed, and at home near my refrigerator for two and a half years now. My problem is DISCIPLINE. Why is that a problem? I really struggle with having it. That’s why! Where can I find some, where is it hiding?? Did it ever exist?
Yes, it did. I’ve had a few times in my life where I got in super shape and lost a significant amount of weight. And how did I do that….? THE DISCIPLINE. So I had it, I should be able to find it again. She hopes.
Back to that poor young lady, in her 20’s who was being bullied by herself for weighing *gasp* 124 pounds. Yes, that’s me in the photo. In continuing to read that journal, I did get down to 118. 118 pounds!! I must’ve looked great! I do remember being in great shape and feeling wonderful. I did yoga every day and did sit ups and was running pretty much every day – not a long distance but I was doing it. Was also doing some swimming (renting on a lake) and trying to eat right. But guess what? That young lady was happy to have reached 118 pounds — but not satisfied. She needed to be 115. And she wasn’t going to be a success until she was 115. Well, I don’t think she made that, and she didn’t stay at 118 either. I just want to tell her now – you were a success! You were.
Quite honestly, I think I drank a lot less than I do now. I mean, well give me a break. It is 2020 now and there is a Pandemic…. I’m not alone in my medicinal needs. It’s been a heck of a summer, as I’m sure all would agree. With COVID-19 and all of the restrictions, I can only imagine how hard it must be on so many people. For me, sure, I miss going out to restaurants, concerts and bars. Pretty much that’s all we do typically for entertainment! We’ve done some take out, and we’ve gone to a few (literally, a tiny few) restaurants and eaten outside, which was great, but.. of course it still isn’t the same. But we’re getting by. I wouldn’t want to be young and going through it. I remember being in college and the swine flu was supposed to be a big problem… my roommates and I got the swine flu shot and promptly forgot about it. Forever. Of course the H1N1 swine flu wasn’t the 2019 novel coronavirus SARS-CoV-2. Things were “under control” back then. Not so now. Fear can make you feel hopeless and depressed — and feeling hopeless and depressed on any given day sends you to that big silver cold box in the kitchen. Full of all that good food.
I try and think positive (as difficult as that can be some days) but I am psyched and I feel I’m ready to try again. Not only do I want to survive this pandemic (literally terrified of it at our age), but I want to be super-healthy and look good. My son is (hopefully) getting married next May now (was supposed to be married June 20,2020 but that didn’t happen due to pandemic) and I don’t want to be freaking out in March or April and having to lose 15 pounds. I’d LIKE to already be there. And I want to be around for seeing my grandchildren.
All valid reasons of course. But is the mind strong enough to rule the body? Laziness, cravings, boredom? We shall see.