Life is One Long Losing Weight Song

by | Sep 27, 2020

I am starting a diet.  Again.  #95,672.

dark hair girl rolling eyesLife is one long losing weight song it seems. I recently found some old diet journals from waaay back when.  My goodness I have been struggling with this same issue for so long.  You know what’s Really Cute though?  I love the ones in my 20’s when I am complaining about weighing 124 pounds and deriding myself as FAT.    That is so cute.    That poor girl!  So mean to myself when I was probably in great shape. I don’t even consider 130 now as possible. If I got to 130 people would think I was sick, seriously.  I know we have fluctuating body composition over our lives but really?  I mean, look at that beautiful butt up there – but butts weren’t “IN” back then – oh no, you had to have a flat butt, like Charlie’s Angels!  Now at my age, I finally have a flat butt — and flat butts are out!  We women can’t win!

Anyway. I have got to start something going here.  I am starting ALL OVER on a diet and I have to lose at least ten pounds….  and I want to lose fifteen.  At my age, this isn’t going to be as easy as it has been in the past. I am at least 30 pounds above that.

I’ve also been unemployed, and at home near my refrigerator for two and a half years now.  My problem is DISCIPLINE.  Why is that a problem?  I really struggle with having it.    That’s why! Where can I find some, where is it hiding??  Did it ever exist?

Yes, it did. I’ve had a few times in my life where I got in super shape and lost a significant amount of weight.  And how did I do that….?  THE DISCIPLINE.  So I had it,  I should be able to find it again. She hopes.

Back to that poor young lady, in her 20’s who was being bullied by herself for weighing *gasp* 124 pounds.  Yes, that’s me in the photo.  In continuing to read that journal, I did get down to 118.  118 pounds!!  I must’ve looked great! I do remember being in great shape and feeling wonderful. I did yoga every day and did sit ups and was running pretty much every day – not a long distance but I was doing it.  Was also doing some swimming (renting on a lake)  and trying to eat right.  But guess what? That young lady was happy to have reached 118 pounds — but not satisfied.  She needed to be 115. And she wasn’t going to be a success until she was 115. Well, I don’t think she made that, and she didn’t stay at 118 either. I just want to tell her now – you were a success! You were.

Quite honestly, I think I drank a lot less than I do now.   I mean, well give me a break.  It is 2020 now and there is a Pandemic…. I’m not alone in my medicinal needs. It’s been a heck of a summer, as I’m sure all would agree. With COVID-19 and all of the restrictions, I can only imagine how hard it must be on so many people.  For me, sure, I miss going out to restaurants, concerts and bars. Pretty much that’s all we do typically for entertainment!  We’ve done some take out, and we’ve gone to a few (literally, a tiny few) restaurants and eaten outside, which was great, but.. of course it still isn’t the same. But we’re getting by. I wouldn’t want to be young and going through it.  I remember being in college and the swine flu was supposed to be a big problem… my roommates and I got the swine flu shot and promptly forgot about it. Forever. Of course the H1N1 swine flu wasn’t the 2019 novel coronavirus SARS-CoV-2.  Things were “under control” back then.  Not so now.  Fear can make you feel hopeless and depressed — and feeling hopeless and depressed on any given day sends you to that big silver cold box in the kitchen. Full of all that good food.

I try and think positive (as difficult as that can be some days) but I am psyched and I feel I’m ready to try again.  Not only do I want to survive this pandemic (literally terrified of it at our age), but I want to be super-healthy and look good.  My son is (hopefully) getting married next May now (was supposed to be married June 20,2020 but that didn’t happen due to pandemic) and I don’t want to be freaking out in March or April and having to lose 15 pounds. I’d LIKE to already be there.  And I want to be around for seeing my grandchildren.

All valid reasons of course.  But is the mind strong enough to rule the body? Laziness, cravings, boredom?  We shall see.


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